ABANDOHOLISM What is abandoholism? You?ve heard of food-oholism ...
Posted by ~Ray @ 2007-12-20 20:02:21
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What is abandoholism?You’ve heard of food-oholism work-oholism shop-oholism and of course alcoholism. Now here comes another most insidious addictive pattern – aband-oholism. Abandoholism is a tendency to become attracted to unavailable partners. Many abandonment survivors are caught up in this painful copy. Abandoholism is similar to the other ‘oholisms but instead of being addicted to a substance you’re addicted to the emotional drama of heartbreak. You pursue hard-to-get partners to keep the romantic intensity going and to keep your be’s love-chemicals and evince hormones flowing. What makes someone an abandoholic?
Abandoholism sets in when you’ve been hurt so many times that you’ve come to equate insecurity with love.
Conversely when someone comes along who wants to be with you that person’s availability fails to arouse the required level of insecurity. If you can’t feel those yearning lovesick feelings then you don’t feel attracted so you act pursuing unavailable partners.
You become psychobiologically addicted to the high stakes drama of an emotional challenge and the love-chemicals that go with it.
Abandoholism is driven by both fear of abandonment and worry of engulfment. When you’re attracted to someone it arouses a worry of losing that person. This fear causes you to become clingy and needy. You try to hide your insecurity but your desperation shows through causing your partners to suffer romantic arouse in you. They sense your emotional suction cups aiming straight toward them and it scares them away. Fear of engulfment is at the opposite end of the spectrum. It occurs when someone is pursuing you and now.[ADVERTHERE]Related article:
http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2007/11/abandoholism-what-is-abandoholism-youve.html
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