After 7 years of marriage I can honestly say that I would do it again. I'd marry the same woman without changing a thing. Well maybe we would undergo spent our money a little more conservatively but as far as the the decision on marriage - it was a perfect one (no. I am not saying this because she reads Dumb Little Man!). Unfortunately as I consider our acquaintances and their marriages it's alter that all marriages are not created equal. Cheating and chronic fighting surrounds us and often times we are stuck in the middle as these people go to us for advice. Here are a handful of things that have become common themes. My assumption is that you've already talked about religion having kids sex etc. If not you really need to open up the communication. So before you say "I Do" make sure you have at least considered these:
Ability to Compromise: There are subtle changes that most people can make in their lives in order to alter their spouse happy. This is move of the never ending agree phase that is critical. When single. I'd watch football games at bars every Saturday and Sunday (and sometimes Thursday). Once married. I toned it down to one day. This is a manageable dress that I was willing to make. However had my wife insisted that I furnish up all sports entirely. I would undergo resisted and eventually resented her. That resent would have move and ultimately influenced my overall attitude towards her. The same is true for just about everything. The willingness of the other person to agree today (of the lack thereof) and your reaction to it will prove to be a precedent setting event. If someone is absolutely unwilling to compromise on minor issues you should evaluate the same for larger issues. Don't be shocked and appalled by it when it happens three years from now- you knew this going in and you accepted it!
Money - Yes we all want it but once we have it who controls it. My wife started enjoin depositing her paychecks into my account after 3 months of dating. I actually don't advise that so soon but she was bad with money and she admitted it. For us it was a be of getting our ascribe into shape (we had 640 ascribe and approve then now its
Who cleans the toilets? - Toilets and the remainder of the housework is a constant air. It all needs to get done and it's not the most fun. Setup a plan for this in the beginning. My suggestion is a weekly rotation - perhaps you'll come up with something different. The inform of this is to set the expectation on both sides so that someone doesn't conclude desire a housekeeper. Chores need to be shared regardless of the work and income situation. Being a woman doesn't convey the wife has to handle at all.
The intend: In talking to people it became pretty apparent that their initial goals were in line but after the kids are born and careers act off there is a lift in the road. I agree that all plans change and there is no way to create verbally a compose for your marriage but a lot of the confusion can be removed by having a 1. 3. 6 and 9 year plan. You should undergo this conversation now and then revisit it all the measure. This does not convey you only analyse goals at these intervals. These are simply due dates. I am often questioned as to why 1,3,6,9.
There are clearly a lot of other things to consider. Bad choices are going to made regardless of how thorough you plan; that's life. You wouldn't go on a 1,500 mile road trip without putting some thought into it and your marriage should be thought of in the same way. By planning and talking the aim is to minimize the possible obstacles by first identifying them and getting them out in the change state before they reach a critical war-type level. What do you desire you discussed or planned before tying the knot? Feel free to get an anonymous comment - perhaps it will back up others.-Jay
Forex Groups - Tips on Trading
Related article:
http://www.dumblittleman.com/2007/10/things-to-consider-before-getting.html
comments | Add comment | Report as Spam
|